Borderline

Whilst I was with my second wife (7 years) she had decided that she would diagnose me, so armed with the internet she decided that I was really a sufferer of BPD.( I am paranoid schizophrenic and happily medicated for it now thank you) I suppose she confused my deep seated paranoia as being an intense fear of abandonment, my mania's as fitting the symptoms of personality disorder. Finding there were no support groups for the disorder at the time (mainly for herself) she decided to start one, even renting a shopfront for the fledgling organisation.

She obtained referrals from mental health organisations and practitioners near and far. People came out of the woodwork from everywhere all looking for support for their unwanted diagnosis. She started a website for the "organisation" and wrote pamphlets from her internet research and even gained support from the hospitals psych ward and community police. Anyone who wanted somewhere to dump these people who nobody understood or knew how to effectively treat.

The endeavour began to invade all parts of "our" lives and she would spend most of her time "counselling" predominantly women who self harmed, often talking well into the night ,most nights, on the telephone. She effectively filled her life with the project. In hindsight having all these people around me sent me thoroughly "off the planet". It was the beginning of the end of the marriage. The marriage had been plagued by my episodes anyway, but this was the straw that broke the camels back so to speak.

She once described BPD as "bad persons disorder" which only reinforced my paranoia that I was a "bad person". It took getting away from her to defeat my own denial, get help, and treat my illness. She confused me for years...