Just have a few...

I think I need to maintain a few relationships with friends around town. The problem for me is that these relationships have, in the past, been maintained in the local pub (hotel). As I find it difficult to restrict my alcohol intake this location can be very bad for my well being. Yesterday afternoon I visited a friend from the pub at his home. Upon arrival one of the first things he offered me was a beer. I declined. I didn't say why I didn't want one, not the truth of why, just that I didn't "feel" like one. I felt by my absence from the pub that he thought I was avoiding him which wasn't true. I was avoiding the drinking place itself.

After a short while my friend decided we should relocate down to the pub in order to watch the Rugby Union (football) on the big screen television located above the bar. I don't know why but I simply responded "see you down there" and left in my car. It felt strange after a long absence to walk into the pub and even stranger to ask for a schooner of Coca-Cola. It ended up being the longest game of football I think I have ever watched and took the final whistle as my signal to leave.

I can't say that I didn't want to have some alcohol because I did. I didn't have any, but deep down I wanted to. The beer seemed to be calling out to me. Old thinking that I could just have a few, that I could now drink sensibly and be "normal" crept into my mind. I didn't enjoy the game, the conversation or my surroundings and I think it will be a while yet before I can comfortably re-enter the environment and remain sober and sane...