Drug dreams...

I stayed up late last night hoping to sleep in late today because I am starting night shift this afternoon. The plan went badly when I awoke at about 6.30 this morning with mild paranoia and was unable to go back to sleep. I tried again at midday to get a few hours before starting my drive at 3.30 pm to start at 4.

I managed to go off into a light sleep I think about 1 pm only to enter into a dreaming state that I awoke from feeling great distress from. About six years ago I got hooked on the drug ice. First speed and then ice. This addiction took me through three of the most harrowing years before I kicked the habit about three years ago.

The dream was vivid about shooting up. The scene included the whole ritual, the preparation, the insertion of the needle into my vein, the drawing back of blood to ensure the vein had been located and then the glorious rush of the injection. The scene was repeated several times in succession but each time, although a successful injection, the needle on the end of the syringe bent at right angles tearing at my veins.

I woke up and before the onset of distress my last memory was thinking how well night shift was going to go tonight "full of speed". The dream was just so vivid and indicates to me just how fragile my recovery really is and how powerful the sub conscious mind is in relation to my past addiction. I have been clean for a long time now and did it "cold turkey". I have a new life now. I have dealt with my alcoholism, I have dealt with my drug addiction and I have medicated for my schizophrenia.

I hope this dream was a one off experience, but it scared the hell out of me...