Told by my girlfriend tonight that I smell.
Showered now and eaten 3 poached eggs on toast. Feeling better but tired. Still wired though.
Plan for tomorrow, get ass out of bed early, see social security about sickness allowance, try and acquire car, get to an alcoholics anonymous meeting and try and get my life back on track before my finances are non-existent. (from continued drinking)
The excuses I use for drinking are getting very tired. Even I don't believe my own excuses anymore. I realise that I self justify my drinking as wanting to feel better when all I really want to do is "get out of it" and in the end it doesn't make me feel better, only worse. At least I have gotten to step 1 of AA's program 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
Tomorrow is another day and I am determined to make it a better one...
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